Just For Guys
Unplanned pregnancies don’t just affect women, they affect guys too. Hearing the words “I’m pregnant” when you are not expecting to can cause a variety of emotions like shock, confusion, stress, happiness, and worry. Many guys wonder how a pregnancy could even happen when a condom or birth control was used. Many people know that pregnancy is a risk but they don’t know that all forms of contraception have a failure rate.
What do I do?
Take a deep breath. You have time to make a decision. You are probably experiencing a lot of questions and emotions. You are not alone. Your partner is probably feeling a range of emotions as well. It is important to take time to listen to what she is feeling. It is also important that you both learn about all of your options and consider everything carefully. Over our years of experience, we have often heard guys say, “I’ll support her in whatever she decides.” Do you know that most women say that this response is not very helpful? Why? Because it feels as if she is having to make this important decision by herself.
First, you need to know that a pregnancy test does not “confirm” a viable pregnancy. Choices medical personnel will start by offering a medical grade pregnancy test.
Secondly, an ultrasound may be offered to confirm the pregnancy. Why is this important? We know that at least 20% of pregnancies end naturally in miscarriage so an ultrasound will determine viability (whether the pregnancy is likely to progress) and rule out an ectopic pregnancy (if the baby is developing outside of the uterus). This is important information to know and it will help with making a decision. At Choices we offer ultrasounds at no cost to you. An ultrasound will confirm the pregnancy, determine the gestational age (how far along she is) and the viability of the pregnancy.
At Choices, we have guys (male client advocates) who are ready to listen to you, and support you as you face this uncertain time. They will give you the information that you need regarding different options and how to best be supportive of your partner. Be informed. Learn about all the options available and what role you play in the decision.
Sometimes it might feel like you just want to “fix the problem.” We encourage you to be a good listener, and to be informed. Ultimately the woman makes the final choice regarding the pregnancy but it is a decision that involves you, too. Be supportive of her and don’t pressure her but also share your opinion in an open and honest way. Being honest and thoughtful helps to keep the lines of communication open.
We encourage you to come in with your partner to make sure that you both have all the information that you need to make an informed decision. Call today to schedule an appointment.
If your partner is not willing to come in or you find yourself in the following situations, give us a call!
- You have just found out your partner is pregnant.
- Your partner has chosen to have an abortion with or without your consent.
- You or your partner is considering abortion, adoption, or parenting and you need some guidance and more information.